I must admit, I have failed every single time - Dayo Amusa

I used to be a fixer. I stayed in bad relationships, attracting the same type of men—men who needed to be fixed.
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I know so many women in the same position. We attract cheating men, commitment-phobic men, emotionally unavailable men, emotionally damaged men, alcoholics, drug abusers, narcissists and sociopaths.
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It’s like we are a magnet for men whose pieces are shattered all over the place. And for some reason, we feel compelled to put these pieces back together.
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But I must admit, I have failed every single time.
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I never gave myself a chance to sit back and question my motives. Instead of asking why I constantly felt obligated to pick up someone else’s broken pieces, I ran to pick them up without a second thought. Being selfless made me think that coming second didn’t matter because I was putting someone else’s worthiness first. And in the end, rank doesn’t matter, right?
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I realized that the reason I was attracting these types of men was because I believed I could save them.
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As selfless, thoughtful, giving women, we think we will be “that woman”—the one who will change them. We think we can turn a cheater into a loyal boyfriend. We think we can help him walk away from the drugs and alcohol. We believe we can help him get over his commitment issues and aim for a stable future with us. We trust that we can get rid of the emotional baggage that he has been carrying for years.
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We attract these men because we believe they need us. And to leave them would be selfish, insensitive and ruthless.
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The sad news is, we constantly blame ourselves when they don’t change. Every time they fail us, we think it’s because we failed them. Their hold on us becomes stronger; they keep us around knowing they have nothing to offer.
It’s just my view. What’s your view??? Let’s interact.
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#JustMyView #JMVwithDayoAmusa #TAO #millionshadesoftao